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Breaking Free From Emotional Relapse

By Donna M.

My son's drug addiction caused me to feel stress and to live in fear which influenced my daily activities; my son and his addiction became my obsession. Bottom line is that I became addicted to saving my son from his addiction to heroin and the end result was that my son became my drug of choice and it took me years to get emotionally and physically healthy again.

Breaking free from emotional relapse is a process. It took a little bit at time, and a little bit at a time until one day I woke up and realized that my family and I were living in a dysfunctional condition in our home because of my son's drug addiction. Breaking free from an emotional relapse is the same process but in reverse; it took me a little bit at a time to break free from living in fear, drama and crisis to heal my heart and to live in a healthy environment not only in my home but also in my head. When my son was using heroin, my head was my hell because I would create stories in it that I didn't know to be true and those stories kept me awake at night and in bed during the day.

Weather people admit it or not everyone in the family is affected by the person who is active in their addiction. The family starts to fall apart which often creates more problems for them. Parents become emotionally distressed because of all the anxiety caused from living in fear of their child getting arrested, going to jail or prison and mostly because the fear of losing them to a drug overdose is unbearable. When I was living through the hell of my son's addiction, there were days that I could literally feel my heart breaking and that pain kept me feeling emotionally sick.

The most common warning signs of an emotional setback for me are that I've stopped using my codependent and enabling recovery tools, I'm trying to control my son or another person's behavior and or lifestyle, I'm allowing fear to manifest in my head , and most important I've stopped taking care of myself emotionally. When I recognize my behavior, I can mindfully take specific actions; for example: if I'm starting to let fear take over, I can switch my thought process by reminding myself that the thoughts in my head are of my own creation. Instead of seeking out negative outcomes, I turn them into positive thoughts of gratitude. 

Any act that brings me into a positive process of behavior prevents me from going to the place of unhealthy codependent love.

Today when I feel that I am reverting back into my codependent behavior I have the tools to recognize it much quicker so that I won't stay in that sick mindset for very long.


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Monday, 05 December 2022